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10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen 10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen by ~nikatil
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.
9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.
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10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan 10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan by ~nikatil
10. Ask about Mike.
9. Ask about Eric.
8. Ask about Jacob.
7. Ask about Edward.
6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.
5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.
4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.
3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.
2. Tell her we all know about the
10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle ... 10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle ... by ~nikatil
10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.
9. Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.
8. Ask if blondes really do have more fun.
7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.
6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.
5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.
4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is
10 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swan 10 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swan10 Ways to Annoy Charlie Swan by ~nikatil
10. Tell him Bella’s pregnant – but you’re having trouble figuring out who the father is… Bella’s unsure whether it’s Edward, Carlisle, Jacob or Mike.
9. Ask him what Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo means in the phonetic alphabet.
8. Decorate his handcuffs with pink lace and flowers the call the station requesting to speak with Chief Swan Princess.
7. Whenever he is around, narrate all that is happening into the invisible walkie-talkie that’s strapped to your shoulder, speaking only in cop talk.
6. Take his gun and use it in a bank holdup – it wi
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